Lorna Horton

Tell us a bit about how you are neurodivergent?

I am autistic. I was officially diagnosed in September last year. The diagnosis is new but it was not a surprise at all. It was the columination of a 10 year journey. I always felt like I saw the world a bit differently from other people and that there were things that were very obvious to other people that weren't obvious to me. As a child I had a different personality type - I was serious, I know lots of people think they were serious as children, but I truly acted like a grandparent. For example I had a Tutankhamun phase and was very into London buses and the Tube. In hindsight these were all classic autistic child traits but given that I'm the age that I am and I'm a woman, none it wasn’t picked up on. I was in my early thirties before I realised that these things weren't just personality quirks. 

I absolutely love my work but find some social interaction very draining- it is difficult to work in an open plan office, they are so bright and loud. I can only do my job if I work at 100% capacity. So I was throwing myself into my work and then burning out in almost every job, again and again. Then I began to realise that I am autistic. I went through several stages: thinking I was just a bit autistic, as I can hold down a job, to realising there is no such thing as being a ‘bit autistic’ but it doesn't matter as at my age there isn't any support anyway, then finally thinking it would be good to go through the diagnosis process to confirm it. It was the beginning of lock down and I had to go through 3 GPs before I could get someone to refer me- because I can talk to people and make eye contact. Eventually I was referred and after a 2 year waiting list, many appointments and long paperwork, it was finally confirmed. It was a bit of an anti-climax but it confirmed what has essentially been a ten year or even lifelong journey of being a bit weird, and understanding why you're a bit weird.

Tell us about your strengths as a leader. How do you lead and influence others?

I like to think that my strength is that I'm very candid. I want to be and I have to be completely honest with my team. It's not that other people are not honest, but I see a lot of other leaders who have a leadership persona which they put on for their team. Whereas I (in part because I am neurodivergent) can only lead as myself and so that means I'm very candid.

I am clear with my team about ‘the why’, they know why I am here and what I want to get out of the work. I am also clear with my team that while I understand the decisions the business is making, I don't always personally agree with them. I want to show my team I am 100% committed to public service and what our senior leaders and ministers think is the right direction. However,  I am also a person who has their own thoughts and feelings. I have had a couple of people say they find it odd to hear a leader say ‘I didn't agree with that decision but here is how we’re going to make it work’. I think this is an important part of my leadership as my team knows that when I am committed to something, I really mean it. I am also honest about mistakes. If I think something I decided last week was wrong in light of new information, I will say that and revisit it. I think that allows others to be honest too and not try to cover up mistakes.

How does your neurodiversity shape you as a leader? How has it helped you and what have been the challenges?

It's 100% shaped me as a leader. I don't really know who I'd be without it. I think a lot of people say that autistic people can't deal with ambiguity but that's not how it is for me. I am absolutely very comfortable with ambiguity, but I can't do things divorced from context. Some exercises at school and the civil service fast stream are devoid of context and I always struggled with those because it’s just not realistic. In the working environment there is loads of context around you. It's one of the reasons why I want to be very candid with my team to tell them why we're doing this thing, what the different policy factors are and any other barriers.

I also lead the way I like to be led. That is I give someone a task and the autonomy to go and deliver, and lots of people like that. Of course there will be people who don't respond to that, and want to have a constant dialogue with you about what they are doing, so now what I tried to do is allow people to engage with me in the way that they need. 

I definitely think that my neurodiversity has helped me to where I am today. I think at times it's also been a barrier; obviously it's hard. I don't know what my career journey would have been like if I wasn't autistic, but I think it definitely felt for me that one of the initial barriers was the Civil Service judgement tests. For me, they were completely unrealistic, but heralded as a ‘marker’ of whether you could be a successful civil servant. I know plenty of people that do terribly on those tests who are incredible civil servants. 

I started as an AO in the Civil Service, I had previously worked as a temp in the NHS and retail. So I had an operational background. As I was working my way up, I encountered lots of very supportive people, who recognised that I was really good at delivery and encouraged me. But there were also some people who would say ‘if you struggle with this, how can you hope to make it all the way to a leadership position?’ I think this came from kindness. Fortunately my reaction to this was ‘yes I can do this and I'm absolutely going to make it’. If I listened to those people, I would probably still be like an EO and wouldn't have fulfilled any of my potential.

What support do neurodivergent leaders need to excel?

It's so difficult to say what support neurodiversity people need because we're all so different. The thing that has worked for me, is working in organisations with a trusting and open culture not a rules based culture. Rules and a lack of trust cause a lot of anxiety for neurodiversity people. The more rules, hoops and tick boxes that you make everyone jump through, the more those who are going to stand out will stand out. It make it difficult for them to thrive because they are being thrown unimportant rules and being told they are important.  I think hybrid working is really brilliant as it allows employees to work in the best way for them. I worry that neurodivergent people will have a harder time if we move away from hybrid working. We should really embrace that people work very differently and some people work best from 7pm- midnight, others work best in the early mornings.

Another thing that would be helpful would be to have a standard list of reasonable adjustments for all people (who are neurodivergent, have another type of disability or even no disability) and talk to all staff about what accommodations will help them work at their best. Rather than making it an additional hoop with the onus on the neurodivergent, it would be a pick and mix list for all. I think there is a huge anxiety that if we give people adjustments they will work less but I have never seen any evidence of this in my teams. A strong manager can successfully manage a team across multiple different environments (such as multiple office locations and home working).

Inspire us- can you share some inspiration of someone who has inspired you?

I don't really have heroes but the person I've always found impressive is a woman called Jerrie Cobb. So she was a pilot in the 50’s and 60s, the time of the American NASA Space Program. Jerrie and some other female volunteers tested themselves using the tests that were used to select the first Mercury Seven astronauts. Jerrie passed all the tests (better than most of the men) and went to Congress to argue for women to be involved in the space programme. What I really admire about Jerrie, is not only was she more qualified than a lot of the men, but that she kept on trying, in the face of ridicule and opposition. She got a lot of other women to do the test and, even though she had the entire political and scientific community against, her she just kept on going. I find it very inspiring. I do feel sad because she should have gone to space and would have been a great astronaut but I don't think she ever got bitter about it, which is a lesson that I still need to learn.