Rachel Noel

Tell us about your neurodiversity and how it has shown up during your career?

I was first diagnosed aged 42, so for the first 20 years of my career, although my neurodiversity showed up a lot, I didn't have the language to talk about it. I am diagnosed as autistic, ADHD, and bi-polar which isn't technically neurodiversity but for me it is related. 

The first part of my career feels very ADHD, as it took me more than 6 years to stay in a job or industry for more than a year. Its like hobbies for those with ADHD where you find something really interesting and then want something new. So the diverse interest was there from the beginning. I worked in residential social services, banking, pensions and software development AND I did different roles in all of these industries. ADHD also shows up in my academic record, my first degree is a joint honours in maths and philosophy, my second is an MBA and my third is an MA in Theology. I didn't have the ADHD understanding until later but the clues were all there. 

About 80% of people with autism have sensory issues and I am one of them. For me it is the sensory issues that have the biggest impact on my life. It even affected my choice of first degree.   I signed up to do a maths degree and you could do extra modules in a different subject- I went to the room to sign up for other modules and it was massively busy and overwhelming and philosophy had the shortest queue. So sensory processing had a lot to do with why I have a degree in maths and philosophy rather than psychology or something else- although I loved philosophy it's not how I like to think I make decisions. 

There are also some environments that I find difficult- lots of people/ group work- and some of my job choices have been to avoid this type of environment. The job I stayed in the longest was for P&O and I struggled when I moved into a big open plan office, but I used to take my laptop off to quiet corners. This was both because the noise was distracting and there were lots of people to talk to. 

When I was diagnosed there was a process of grief as I started to understand how this had impacted me in little ways that were funny but also in quite big ways. There is also a sadness that at 18 I didn't have this language. I have also had to forgive myself for what I didnt know before I was diagnosed.

How has your neurodiversity helped you as a leader? What have been the challenges?

Some of my career has grown out of my strengths. For example my ADHD drives me to be curious, keep asking questions and not accept things at face value, and my autistic part wants to piece together the whole system. When I was at P&O in a junior role, I finished my role quickly and would walk around to other areas. One time I came across a team sitting on the floor with all the tickets and asked what had gone wrong. They told me that nothing had gone wrong. So I asked why and they explained that the cruise tickets print from one machine and the flight tickets from another and they put them all on the floor to sort them. So I asked questions and questions and we rejigged the system. From this I realised and a Director realised, that most people accept what it is but I ask the questions to get behind what is and sort out what is happening upstream. So eventually on the ticket piece the fundamental question was do we even need tickets, this is our own ships and flights, do we need paper at all or do we just need the passport. 

This is also what I am doing in church, looking beyond what is, to what is behind the situation. And now I have the neurodivergent label, it helps me to understand how I work and what I bring to a situation. Early in my career I thought, I just need to find the right place and it will flow, but now I understand that what I bring to teams is that I come from a different angle. So I have now been learning to live with my own discomfort and the fact that I am likely to be someone who makes others feel uncomfortable and that that is ok. And now I know if I  don't do that, I am not offering all I can bring.

Tell us about how you lead others? What are your strengths and how do you use them to lead?

One of my core values is the fundamental worth of every individual. Hierarchical organisations often communicate something different, that someone in a leadership position has more value than others. P&O was quite hierarchical- the captain is king on a ship, and many of the shore staff had come from a merchant navy background. This meant that the people who knew the mess of the tickets were minimum wage and not seen as skilled, so there were not listened to. So to unpick this I needed to think through how I create meetings where those who know what is going on are listened to. So I used to get those working on it, to think and design the solutions. This used to really release staff and they would come up with great insights. 

I also think that because I have voice that doesn't quite fit, I am always thinking about how I can create an environment where others can share. I try to take the power out of a space- I am a great fan of post-it notes where everyone can write. As a Vicar I also consider what the dynamics are in the church (the in-crowd or people who have more air-time) and about how I can create spaces so those on the edge can be heard, contribute, belong and share their gifts and strengths. For me this was really brought to the fore in the pandemic, when I started a conversation within the church about how we as the church deal with the fact we are weak and vulnerable (may be shielding etc) as well as trying to help serve others.

I am deliberately open about my neurodivergence because I want to make it easier for people to own their own stuff. I really believe passionately that no one person has everything you need in a team, leader or not leader. For those who are neurodivergent I think there is even more innate awareness of the interdependence that we all have. So I continue to be open about my neurodiversity and the challenges and gifts in it. One of the best things someone said to me when I left my curacy was that they felt able to choose what they wear on a Sunday- and they chose their favourite shoes rather than their church shoes. This was such a tiny thing but a huge thing as this meant they could show up and be present as themselves. Overall I am finding my openness about this means that others can share their presence, gifts and challenges. 

Another of my key strengths is my creativity. I have used handicraft creativity as a strategy in my own mental health but also in the pandemic, realising how beneficial this was for me, I started up a community yarn bomb initiative. By the time Boris closed everything down I had 1500 knitted items at home, and instead of shutting it down I decided to invite people to keep making things and finding a way to drop off within daily exercise and put it up along the hedge outside the church so that it was something that people could see on their daily exercise. I also used my creativity to imagine how we could expand this to benefit the whole community including how to utilise materials from local estate agents and then include schools so that key working children back in school could make items. So for me it was using the connections I have to invite people to offer into that space. In the end the first Christmas of the pandemic we ended up with a life size knitted nativity on the hedge and a 20 foot crochet christmas tree and an advert calendar with a board from each estate agent and different school classes and clubs who had decorated a sign. So it was the creativity and connection coming together, thinking how we can create a framework so people can offer in and we can accept what they offer.

What support do you think neurodiverse leaders need to excel?

So I think neurodiverse leaders need to feel safe to show up as they are and own what they need. Everyone is a mix of strengths and needs- neurodiverse or not I think this is the case. For people to show up with our strengths we need our needs to be met. The neurodiverse leaders need some extra scaffolding in place. 

For me awareness of time is a significant challenge- time is either now or not now. So I have to own this and I have a huge clock on my desk and alarms on my desk. This is really hard for me but I know this is important for others. Another challenge is I put lots of energy into things but then people feed off that energy. I then need to be aware that the point at which everyone is feeding off that energy and saying lets do more I may have gone a bit too far and need to put some more intentional spaces in. This is where I need to get people around me who I can trust who can help me do this.

It needs to be safe for neurodiverse leaders to say what works for them and not for all the onus to be on them to work out what this is and make it work- as this isn't necessarily sustainable and wont help them flourish. Of course no environment will ever be perfect for everyone and some neurodivergent needs may be conflicting and this has to be acknowledged too.