Matt Parkes

What leadership roles have you had in your career?

I have always naturally led people. At school, for example, I was quite happy to be selected to be a captain of one of the rugby teams- it just felt totally natural. Then I had the opportunity to go on an expedition overseas in the rainforest and afterwards the leaders said to me ‘Matt you're a natural leader, please come back and join us as a leader’. A little later, during my diploma in marketing, when they needed someone to lead the group, everyone turned to me and said ‘Well Matt, obviously that’s you’ and it was something I was really glad to do. 

Early on in my marketing career I worked in the charity sector and joined at a relatively junior level. I worked for 4 years and I could feel this idea bursting out of me ‘I wanted to grow a team and shape something’. I remember having a discussion with my boss to say that I was thinking of leaving because I thought I could do his job. I remember him thanking me for my openness and then being equally open and pointing out all the things he did that I couldn't yet do. Although infuriating, he gave me some really helpful feedback that I took on board. Then after that I got a job as head of Marketing in Childline. The team did really well and I remember people saying, ‘Matt, there is a real buzz about your team’. And from there I took up more and more leadership roles and it gives me a buzz to do it well. Sadly I have seen loads of bad leadership, so for me, it is a passion; when people are well-led, success happens, and people have a great time.

Tell us about your neurodiversity and how it has shown up during your career?

What have been the challenges? 

I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was 28 and then ADHD was identified when I was 48, so there was a 20-year gap. I was at school before neurodiversity was really understood. For me it was both a great gift and self-sabotaging. Because from a very early age I was problem solving and as I went through school, I needed to problem solve on a daily basis. The way this worked for me was that outwardly I became really confident and socially competent- outwardly I projected something that wasn't real. I wasn't confident but I looked it and I was then able to mask the challenges I was having. For example, I was able to talk myself out of doing my homework sometimes. This was fine until A-level and degree level. 

My dream was to be an engineer and I got into Imperial to do it and I enjoyed it. I understood everything, all the concepts and group work but the exams and organising the revision for the exams was super hard. I could not pass one particular exam. My solution was to change direction, into Marketing. Neurodiversity is interesting, as reading and writing have been fine, it’s been working in exam conditions. Blank sheets of paper and organising my thoughts before I get writing is still something I find challenging. The writing itself, once I get going, is ok but getting ready to write is hard. Give me a microphone and I will talk now in front of 1000 people and people will really like it, but sitting me down with a keyboard and a blank screen is difficult- it's like my brain can't get that. 

I also find plate spinning challenging. I can be working really hard spinning one plate really well and won't have noticed that another has crashed to the ground elsewhere and another is faltering. So perhaps an email someone sent me a few weeks ago has been forgotten and it was important. 

I am also my own worst critic and I think this is common with people with Neurodiversity. It's not good for me to do this; I need to be more accepting of myself and more open with people about things I find challenging, remembering that there are other things I find much easier than many people.

How has your neurodiversity helped you as a leader?

One of the ways Neurodiversity has helped me lead, and have recently learned the language around it, is understanding the wider system of relationships to get things done. There is a great book about this called Systems Inspired Leadership. Emotional intelligence or Social intelligence, are quite well established concepts, but one step beyond this is Relationships Systems Intelligence. A marriage is a system, but a team is definitely a system and an organisation is a system and every part is connected. I have never been able to understand why others don’t learn the names of people in reception and those who clean the office and get to know them well. These are the people who are going to be so helpful in the future -guaranteed. The system therefore is really important. 

I am also someone who uses the big picture in my leadership. I see the whole group and notice both the popular person with people buzzing round them like bees, and the ones who are by the side of the room on their own. I also use the big picture for my strategy work, hugely important for that. 

Problem solving is also key- I have already mentioned how I would turn on my extrovert side and develop my strengths of being able to speak well in order to compensate for other difficulties. Linked to this, innovation and creativity have been a big theme of my leadership, so seeing new opportunities. 

What support do you think potential neurodiverse leaders need to excel? 

Firstly they need acceptance- they need this from themselves and from their employers and they need to be included. When we think about Justice, Equity, Diversity and Inclusion, I think there can be (at least for neurodiversity) an over emphasis on Diversity rather than inclusion. Looking at the statistics 1/10 or 1/5 being neurodiverse, most organisations will have neurodiversity already so a big issue is inclusion. So what does that mean? In old money this means reasonable adjustments, but I found that although organisations can be positive and have a conversation about reasonable adjustments, my own experience is the follow-through can be challenging. I had a poor experience of this. I went to an interview for a Director role in a charity. I declared that I was dyslexic and said that I would need a particular laptop and some administrative support to really thrive in the role. I got the job but it was a huge fight to get the right (more expensive) laptop and it took 2 years to get admin support. We, as a society, need to go a long way on this. We live in a world where people I know with visible disabilities are still asked to attend meeting rooms without lift access! So for neurodiversity, which is hidden, to make a workspace really inclusive and make adjustments that really work, there is still such a long way to go.

Perhaps most importantly leaders need self-love and self-acceptance. They need to accept that they are going to get things wrong and accept that they might find this hard and they need to be kind to themselves. I say that as I, (and I think this is quite common from those I have spoken to) can be my own fiercest critic. I think leaders need to cut themselves slack when things have been hard work. Last week, for example, I had to write a couple of proposals and I was exhausted by organising my thoughts before I started writing. I was then comparing myself to others, giving myself a hard time and feeling really stupid. I have had a lot of support over the years, but still got to the end of the week and felt exhausted. But luckily at the end of the week I could catch myself and appreciate that I am really tired and I have done really well doing this as it's not easy for me.

Beyond this I think neurodiverse leaders need encouragement by others and their employer. They need encouragement from seeing and hearing from others with neurodiversity, from employers who are really positive about neurodiversity. 

Inspire us: Please can you share some inspiration- favourite leadership book, story of someone who has inspired you …. 

I am a fan of Patrick Lenconi and find the clarity of his thinking about how a team works really helpful. One of his books is called The Advantage, brings out many of his ideas and concepts. I’ve used his ideas in running departments under pressure and they work.

Another book I found really helpful is Rebel Ideas by Matthew Syed. He is not actually talking about neurodiversity but one of the subtitles of the book is ‘The power of diverse thinking’. He is talking about the importance of teams being diverse and cites many, many examples of teams that have actively sought out diverse perspectives (backgrounds, cultures and world views) and even if those teams are uncomfortable and don't get on very well they are dramatically higher-performing compared to more uniform teams. If you compare the smooth-running teams to those with different perspectives, then bringing different perspectives really enhances the power of the team. This has really brought home to me how important it is to get more diversity into leadership. And, my goodness, how much better and how different the world would be with more women and more neurodiversity in leadership. The different ways of seeing things could transform our organisations and politics.